Things have been happening over the last couple of weeks that have made me take a step back and look around... I've been very frustrated at the economy ever since I left college. I set myself up for failure and hit a brick wall before I realized it was coming. Now, with a baby on the way, with the first christmas as my own family, and with the very first tight, and I mean do we want gifts or to pay the bills, holiday season, things have taken on different meanings. And I mean everything.

For the first time, I can honestly say I do not know what I want to do with my life, job wise. The jobs that I want I know are just not available anymore because they are either taken or are non-existent. I even tossed up the possiblity of starting my own business, but the risk is too great and I don't believe in gambling a job in exchange for a family. So, with the help of Totem, I've settled on what we have (having a job) versus what we want (a job I don't have) and I am going to change my outlook. Pending I still have this job next fall, I will be going back to school of my MBA (one of the benefit os this job is they will pay for secondary education). Plus, the Management school has what they called a PMBA program that will let me keep my job full time, attend classes at night, and get my MBA after three years. Should I finish it, not only would I actually have a Masters degree, the MBA would open the door to a completely different market of job opportunities for me that can help me move on in life and better support my family.

Totem is on the up and up as well. She got a new job recently and already the management and owners are impressed with her. So much so that they are going to help her get back into school to get her teaching lics. Something that is NOT a company benefit. Whats even better is that her job (which is at a day care) has a benefit of free child care for the first child and they have no problem at all that she is pregnant. Big plus for us not only b/c it will help out trememdously in about 6 months, but b/c she has the backing of the day care. Yeah, I know it is against the law to descriminate, but you can't tell me that when someone sees a new applicant who is pregnant, that they do everything to avoid hiring them. It happens. I've seen it.

In terms of coding, designing, website, geek type world... Dad (or Pops - what he wants to be called by his grandchildren ;))and I are trying to get a web design business off of the ground. We've got a couple of low end jobs lined up that will hopefully just get our name out there, I can only hope this balloons into a good thing. I've slowed down on doing my usual computer stuff. I'm going to let a couple of the "wishful thinking" domains that I have expire because I never got them off of the ground, even after a year has gone by... Others are just waiting to be finished (I've got a PHP site coded and almost ready for release, I just don't have time to finish it). Other sites, like this one, I think I'm leaning towards a revamp. Spam has gotten so much out of control here that I'm just going to take down all of the public tracking tools and blocks and just let everyone and anyone do what they please. Well kind of, I'll still be in the background but it will be much more transparent to the user... Basically my goal on this website is at least to trim the fat. Get rid of some of the things that are (literally) slowing down the response time. Images that aren't needed. Public stats that, while useful to me, are just being filled with spam sites. Inactive links. Stuff like that... Hopefully I'll have that done soon enough...

On the homefront, the computer situation is getting slightly better. Parts have not come in yet, but planning stages have been changes. I've got a better handle on how I'm going to get my Linux box back to the way I want it, instead of just being back. My laptop has become my production machine and it is holding up pretty well. Ever since I've picked up the browser based online web gaming, the lack of video power hasn't really been an issue. Totems laptop is out on loan while her mother goes into and recovers from surgery. When we get it back, if I've got some extra cash, I plan on getting a wireless network going in the house so Totem does not have to go upstairs to get to her computer. I think she'll use her computer that much more if she can just connect to the Internet anywhere in the house...

And me. Well, I kind of liked venting a little bit so maybe I'll try to get back into the swing of things. It helps me relax a little bit... And its nice to keep track of things. Enough from me...