Things are kinda wierd now... My days aren't the same anymore. Maybe I'm just getting into a new pattern now... I haven't been able to keep up with my blogging. I haven't been able to keep on track with some of my website goals. Its kind of shocking because after I graduated I thought I'd have all the time to focus on getting those done, but instead I'd rather just come home and relax with Totem. My plans and ambitions for "re-doing" my computers and network has slowed, but when I get a part in/dropped off/deliverred, I'm all over it. :\ I started the project by getting rid of old data and sorting data. But that lasted a night. I didn't have a want to do it the next day, even though I kicked a$$ on progress the night before. Jay's g/f's computer was on hold for almost a month, but when I got her last part in, I had it finished in a couple of hours.

Its really really odd. When I was in school, I used to stress myself out every night about not having time to do the things I wanted to do. I'd rush home, stay up late, avoid family, avoid Totem. Now, I'm spending more time with her, doing family things, and not doing the stuff I want to do, and really don't care. We just went to a family reunion yesterday. 6 hours at a park with family that I barely even knew or didn't even know (it was her side). I had a blast. :) And you know what, I didn't do anything at all except eat and admire the wilderness. We both sat on a hill looking at the blue sky for almost an hour and just stared. You couldn't have paid me to go if this happened a couple of months ago but doing nothing was so relaxing...

Back on the tech side, Totem suggested that I shift all my computer usage to my laptop and work on selling my desktop system so I can start to get the Linux boxes up, and then eventually get all the part ready for my new desktop. When she asked this, I would have normally asked her what was wrong with her. But I caught myself, and wierd thing is that I remember thinking that way, but saying yeah, it would work. Its almost an instinct to react "NO! Don't touch my computers!!!" but it made a lot of sense. I only use my desktop for gaming at this time. I use my laptop for all my email and basically to surf the web. All I would have to do is get the data off of it (which is what my Linux box is for) and they I can start the ball rolling... up hill. Or basically leave my new desktop systems for last instead of holding everything else up on it...

The other thing that is happening is almost like procrastination, but really not. I'm putting off projects and gaming and "stuff I used to called fun" for things like walks and cleaning the house, and watching tv with Totem. I'm sure the marriage has a lot to do with it, but I think that fact that I'm done with school has shifted my frame of mind to how I deal with things in life. I'm starting to be able to push the "fun stuff" to the back to do things that need to be done, but I'm not feeling stressed about them anymore. Prime example. Dishes, vaccumming, washing the floor, garbage, and cleaning the fish tank. Chores before May 2004. Fact of life now. Plus, instead of feeling like I just cut into my gaming time, I feel like I've gotten something big done. And if its late night, I won't, usually, even go up to my computer. I'll stay downstairs and watch TV with Totem or play with molly and her toys.

Wow. I just thought of something. Is this what a family is supposed to feel like? Because I really really love it. :)